Thursday, February 23, 2012

Totally Worth It!

So as you know, I got news that DH and I actually DID get pregnant this last cycle. I had tested at 10 DPO (days post ovulation) and it was negative. I tested again on February 16th, 15 DPO, and it was positive. We conceived with the help of FertilAid for Men, and 100 mg of Clomid. I still cannot believe it. However, I lost our little miracle baby on February 18th around 11 pm. I had been spotting and slight cramping since earlier but my doctor said that could be normal.

I'm really bummed that we don't get our little miracle as soon as we'd thought, but I'm also so grateful I even made it this far. This was a huge milestone for us. In this cycle alone, we detected ovulation for the first time ever, and it resulted in a beautiful miracle, and our first ever BFP (big fat positive). Yes, we lost he/she but in my heart I know it happened for a reason. I think it was to show me that it will happen and that we CAN get pregnant, even with our infertility issues. To me, that alone was worth all the effort in trying to conceive; doctor aqppointments, Clomid, Provera, FertilAid, Tea, Vitamins, Ultrasounds, BBT's, money spent on OPK's and HPT's, etc. It was just all so worth it. I know in my heart we will be parents, once and for all. I am alright.

I recently started a new job (on 2/21) and it is going well. I am learning lots, having fun, and earning money. It's kept my mind off of having a baby and DH and I decided to take a short break from trying like we were and just let what happens, happen. If we get pregnant again soon, then that is great. If not, we will wait and start trying later on this year.

I am so thankful. I have had much support through this whole thing; from trying to conceive, to discovering our infertility barriers, to finding out we finally (after almost 4 whole years!) conceived a miracle and then to finding out we lost it. I have an immense support system... thank you all for being there for me as well. XoXo

Sunday, February 12, 2012

CD 33, 11 DPO= BFN & CD 37, 15 DPO= BFP!

So... no baby again this cycle. I'm 11 days post ovulation, CD 33 and AF is due in 2 days. Granted we are a bit bummed that we don't get our miracle baby this cycle, I'm actually okay. It's not the end of our journey, and I'm not throwing in the towel just yet. We created a huge milestone this cycle; I ovulated for the first time documented, ever. I'm beginning to be more in tune with my body and I'm ready to move on and keep fighting. :)

I'm also okay because I have realized that we will be parents. I don't know when, I don't know how but I just know we will. Whether it comes naturally one day, through IUI or IVF, or even a surrogate/adoption, I'm open for anything. If there is one thing I've learned recently, it's this "You are so much stronger than you think." And that is just the truth! We all deal with so much, things that we don't even speak about. We're all alive, we're all fighting SOME battle at SOME point... good always prevails. Plain and simple.

I have to give a "shout-out" to one of my infertility sisters who found out she is 6 weeks pregnant with TWINS through her 2nd IVF. I am so incredibly happy for you and I cry almost every time I talk to you! Congratulations sweetie! XoXo

I'm not giving up hope that it will happen naturally, because it can happen. It's all about timing and we're getting better. We're getting closer, I can feel it. While I hold on to hope, I'm also shifting gears into a different direction. My health. I have good health right now, I've been lucky. I've never had a major illness, I've never had to go to the ER (minus the hives as a kid) etc. So Tim and I decided to spend our anniversary (3 years of marriage in May) money on something different. We planned to take some of the tax return and book a mini-suite in Wendover, rent a car and spend 3 days having fun gambling, seeing a show, eating out, etc. It would have been nice... but instead we are going to spend a little more and buy a treadmill. We both enjoy walking, jogging and running on treadmills and we just can't committ to going down to the gym at his work. I am super excited because once we get the treadmill, I'm going to use it everyday. I feel so good when I get exercise, even just 30 minutes a day. I know that this is an investment that we can benefit from and although we'd love to go to a secluded place and exist only in each other's world for a few days to celebrate our marriage, we chose to be smarter and do this instead. I'm actually more excited than you'd think!

Anyway, I'm staying positive, I'm staying me. XoXo

*Quick Update!*
CD 37, 15 DPO and I got a BFP this morning from a Wondfo test strip! I just can't believe it! Can this really be our time to have a baby?! I've been crying all day! I'm approx. 5 weeks, 1 day along. We have a doctor appointment on Tuesday to check my beta and hcg levels and we have our first ultrasound and heartbeat detection scheduled for March 26th where I will be roughly 10-11 weeks! XOXO
 BFP 15 DPO 5:30 am

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

CD 22- OVULATION DAY!

So it turns out that I am ovulating!

I ran out of digital tests yesterday (all were negative) so I ordered a combo pack from Wondo on Amazon and got them here in less than 24 hours! It only cost me $3.99 shipping and handling... talk about a steal!

Last night I started having intesnse ovary pain along with a bloated and full feeling. I thought it might be a large cyst but I made it through the night and all was fine. There isn't any pain when we have sex and it's not a constant pain, just a dull ache that hurts if I cough or twist my abdomen, etc. (guess that means I get a free pass tonight and won't have to do any crunches right?!??) So I called my doctor, got the name of my new doctor, a leading RE in Utah who had 100% success rates in November and December. I am going to schedule to meet with him soon and book our IUI. If we get pregnant before then... awesome! If not, we will cross that bridge when we get to it!

I took an OPK and mixed with the ovary pain and the CM, my doctor thinks I am ovulating and told me to have intercourse tonight. So, looks like we will start the "gravy train" right away. ;) Luckily, we've been having sex every night for almost 2 weeks... and we will just continue to do that the next few days. It was a total of 21 days of baby-dancing in January. 5 days were for AF and spotting so that means there were only 5 days that we didn't have sex! hahaha my poor hubby!

Fingers crossed for our baby Smittenaar to be created!
XoXo