Saturday, March 31, 2012

Newest Plan; It Just Feels Right!

I really feel like I need to take some time off and focus on my health and my career. Plus, DH and I are excited to start planning to buy our first house. We rent a house now that is big enough to have a couple kids but I honestly think that I'd prefer to own our home before we try having a baby again. I want to be able to paint our nursery, and upgrade things when and if we want, etc. I want what I've wanted my whole life, and now that I know I CAN get pregnant it's easier to take time off. It's also shown me that the time just isn't right, and I think my health is one of the biggest reasons. I know miscarriages aren't usually anyone's fault, but it won't hurt to be in better physical health before getting pregnant again. I want to make myself healthy, my body strong and my mind mentally stable before trying again. I wanted to give up on life recently, but I got through it, thank god. I know I have a purpose, I do. I have other dreams and goals besides having a baby and I should reach for those while I still can. I am going to pursue my career, finish Dental Hygiene program while my husband plans to eventually become a K-9 Officer. We plan to buy a house and then, after things are better all around, we will try for a baby again. In the meantime, I'm going to do the things I've always wanted to do. I'm turning 23 in April... I'm still young, I need to embrace that!

I'm going to learn to love myself and my curves at a healthy weight, my nose that I've always hated, my tiny and ungraceful looking hands, my weird baby toenail, and who I am inside. I'm going to hike the Y and the Timpanogos Cave. I'm going to go boating as much as possible, go camping, fishing and then I'm going to try skiing in the Winter. I've never gone skiing or snowboarding and I live in Utah! We have some of the BEST snow and mountains in the Country! I should embrace that! I'm going to put good things in my body and get in a healthy lifestyle routine. This way, when I do get pregnant again, I will be in ideal health. I will of course get on Progesterone too but I will be physically more suited to carry a healthy baby.

I might be crazy and some might think I'm ignorant but I feel good. I feel good knowing that our new plan is to buy our dream house, get totally healthy, further our careers and then try for a baby again. One day at a time,  I will be that much closer to being a mother. and no matter what, I know in my heart that our babies are waiting in heaven, those that have left us and those waiting to come down. :) XOXO

Saturday, March 24, 2012

A Fresh Idea!

It's now been 5 weeks exactly since my miscarriage. So weird to think that I would be 10 weeks and 3 days along right now. WOW! A little depressing still but fun to imagine because I know it will happen for us again. :)

Today is CD 37 and AF has still not shown up. I took several HPT's a few days ago and they were negative, so I am playing the waiting game. Once AF arrives, I will focus on doing what I can to get back on track since we took this month off of trying to recover from the miscarriage. We've since come up with some new plans and changes to our strategy.

First and most importantly, I'm trying to find a new doctor. I want a female OB/GYN and I won't settle for what I have been getting. I want a doctor who fully understands what it means to be a woman, as well as someone who is focused on meeting my specific needs. I begin the search on Monday!

Second, I'm giving myself until the beginning of August to become pregnant again before we take a year-long break. I have two cycles of Clomid left. I will use them this cycle (whenever it decides to show up) and then the following cycle as well. If we still don't conceive, we will try naturally until August and if still nothing, we will stop trying and I will begin a Dental Hygiene program. It's just under 1 year; with about 6 months in class and 6 months interning. I will graduate in July 2013 and we will resume our efforts to conceive via our first round of IUI (intrauterine insemination) with injectables. That is basically as far as our plans have gone, but once we are able to, we will start saving up for an IVF fund so that if we need to cross that bridge, we can do so well-prepared.

I guess that's it for now. Other than having some serious cramping and pinching in my lower abdomen lately, I've got nothing else to add! Thanks for reading... XoXo

Friday, March 9, 2012

21 Days Post Miscarriage

As of tomorrow (3/10/12) it has been 21 days post miscarriage. It seems like it really was just yesterday... yet, I feel energized and ready for life again. DH and I decided to take some time off from "trying" and I didn't take Clomid this cycle nor did we plan anything. We've just lived life; however he still takes his FertilAid three times a day, but that's just like a vitamin for his health. I still take my prenatals and drink my tea too, but it isn't in hopes of becoming pregnant, it's just to ensure good overall health. I've taken my BBT nearly everyday and don't really know much yet. I've also taken an OPK everyday since 3/1 and it appears I ovulated on March 5th-March 6th. So, that is practically amazing news since I didn't take Clomid and ovulation still occured. I've heard about women becoming pregnant and (sadly they lost it) but it regulated their cycles. I've also heard the first few months after a miscarriage are fertile times since your body started building up in preperation for gestation and there can be traces of extra hormones in the body.

So now that we've detected ovulation and have officially moved on, I think I'm ready to start actively trying again. My doctor said it's perfectly safe to start trying again and that my body seems to have bounced back and recovered very nicely. That's great! I don't think I give my lady parts enough credit sometimes. Anyway, I'm looking to the future and I see big things. I don't know how or when our time will come, but it will. I feel okay knowing that... Thanks everyone for all the immense love and support we got during all we went through. I am grateful! XoXo