Newest Plan; It Just Feels Right!

I really feel like I need to take some time off and focus on my health and my career. Plus, DH and I are excited to start planning to buy our first house. We rent a house now that is big enough to have a couple kids but I honestly think that I'd prefer to own our home before we try having a baby again. I want to be able to paint our nursery, and upgrade things when and if we want, etc. I want what I've wanted my whole life, and now that I know I CAN get pregnant it's easier to take time off. It's also shown me that the time just isn't right, and I think my health is one of the biggest reasons. I know miscarriages aren't usually anyone's fault, but it won't hurt to be in better physical health before getting pregnant again. I want to make myself healthy, my body strong and my mind mentally stable before trying again. I wanted to give up on life recently, but I got through it, thank god. I know I have a purpose, I do. I have other dreams and goals besides having a baby and I should reach for those while I still can. I am going to pursue my career, finish Dental Hygiene program while my husband plans to eventually become a K-9 Officer. We plan to buy a house and then, after things are better all around, we will try for a baby again. In the meantime, I'm going to do the things I've always wanted to do. I'm turning 23 in April... I'm still young, I need to embrace that!

I'm going to learn to love myself and my curves at a healthy weight, my nose that I've always hated, my tiny and ungraceful looking hands, my weird baby toenail, and who I am inside. I'm going to hike the Y and the Timpanogos Cave. I'm going to go boating as much as possible, go camping, fishing and then I'm going to try skiing in the Winter. I've never gone skiing or snowboarding and I live in Utah! We have some of the BEST snow and mountains in the Country! I should embrace that! I'm going to put good things in my body and get in a healthy lifestyle routine. This way, when I do get pregnant again, I will be in ideal health. I will of course get on Progesterone too but I will be physically more suited to carry a healthy baby.

I might be crazy and some might think I'm ignorant but I feel good. I feel good knowing that our new plan is to buy our dream house, get totally healthy, further our careers and then try for a baby again. One day at a time,  I will be that much closer to being a mother. and no matter what, I know in my heart that our babies are waiting in heaven, those that have left us and those waiting to come down. :) XOXO