So after almost 4 years of sexual intercourse without contraception, my husband and I have yet to conceive. This is a major concern. I know some people say that "it will happen when the time is right" and not to worry or obsess but, I have to say; think about it! Sex is nature's way of creating human life. For most couples it should be a fun form of intimacy but when that parental desire strikes, sex is looked at on a biological, natural spectrum. Creating human life through intercourse is supposed to be one of the most natural things on earth. We're all taught throughout our lives that having unprotected sex leads to pregnancy (among other things). When you're married and you know you're both "clean" the other consequences aren't an issue. And when that time comes, sex is suddenly not only fun and pleasurable, it (ideally) creates a child between you and your partner. If you ask a mother about her pregnancy, chances are she'll talk about the pain, the cravings, the weight gain and then, of course, the labor. In the end, it's all worth it because you have now created and delivered a human being. If you ask a woman who hasn't been able to become a mother, pregnancy is no longer about the "side effects". Infertile Women, (like myself) look at pregnancy as a beautiful, magical, and biological right to us. It was driven in our brains through parents, friends, teachers and society that women have babies. Those babies are created by having sexual intercourse. Sounds simple enough, but it's not.
I've been told that a child is born every minute. EVERY MINUTE. From who? Where? and WHY not by me? I know there are others out there who ask these questions like I am and I think it's a very reasonable question. It simply doesn't seem "fair" does it? As a woman who is trying to become a mother, I've discovered that just sex isn't enough. General good health isn't enough. Practicing yoga techniques, eating certain foods, taking pills and drinking herbal teas isn't always enough either. There are various procedures, tests, and surgeries done everyday to women all across the world. Here in America, I am fortunate. There are SEVERAL up-to-date procedures available. They have been tested and performed and calculated. Some of the statistics are amazing. The downside is everything costs money. Now, if you're financially set (meaning money isn't technically a concern) then you're likely not worried about this. But if you're one of the majority who don't have the best insurance it can get costly. Those high costs are scary and there's a shock and overall fear of having to some day face it. In the end, I think finally having a baby makes it all worth it. The pain, the worry, the stress, the money, the tests, etc. But in the meantime, it drives a gal crazy.
I've recently discovered various "boosts" to the reproductive system. There are pills, creams and more for men and women, all over the internet. They range from fairly cheap to ridiculously expensive. After much consideration, Tim and I decided that spending money is worth it if it actually helps us conceive. We've discovered (and tried- although not with real effort) FertilAid for Women and FertilAid for Men, along with FertileCM, and other products through a company called FairHaven Health at their website: http://www.fertilaid.com/. We've decided to make a purchase every month until we get that BFP (big fat positive) pregnancy test result. That being said, before I fork over $60 a month for some pills (that do in fact receive great reviews) we decided to get some tests done. I've had an ultrasound on my ovaries back in late 2008. They held plenty of healthy eggs, with no signs of PCOS. Last month I had some bloodwork done and all my levels came back "normal". Estrogen, Testosterone, Progesterone, LH, and FSH were all fine. However, my SHBG (sex-hormone-binding globulin) level was low. The cause of this is unknown, however, I was put on Metformin in order to prevent PCOS and other problems from happening. Now the next step is lab testing. I'm scheduled to have an HSG (Hysterosalpingogram) test done here in a couple of weeks. It is an X-ray test that looks at the inside of the uterus and fallopian tubes and the area around them. I'm getting this test done because the hubby and I must have a fertility issue. So, I'd like to get the test done to see if there is any blockage, or if my uterus is abnormal. Hopefully, I get very positive results and that nothing is wrong "down there". If we get the green light, we will then make the first purchase of FertilAid and see how that works over the next few months. I'm choosing to stay optimistic, so pray that the only outcome is a happy one. :)
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XoXo
Audrey I think you are very brave for doing this blog. I know this is an issue that many times people are insensitive about. I had no idea you were dealing with this so that just goes to show you how important it is for people to be considerate. I certainly would never pretend that I could understand what you are going through or try to offer any 'advice' but I do hope that I can be supportive and if anything I will try to use this blog as a means to show that.
ReplyDeleteMelissa- Thank you. I was a little apprehensive about creating a blog about something so intimate and personal but I know there are so many women and men out there who are dealing with the same situation, if not much harder. My heart goes out to every person who has ever experienced infertility and although I haven't been as open about my feelings before, I'm going to now. It actually has helped me already, as far as not keeping things bottled inside, and I've learned to not be so angry towards other people who have the blessing of having children. You have been a great person to know and a good friend. Thank you for taking the time to read the blog posts. I often wonder if anyone is ever reading them, but most of the time, I just write to say what I am feeling. Thanks again!
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