There is no sign of my AF coming anytime today... so I am trying to remain positive and hope she shows up soon. It's CD 32 right now and counting if I don't start spotting or SOMETHING soon!
It's been an emotional day today already. I woke up with no period, cried. I got online and read online that Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant again. I cried again. She still remains unmarried, but is getting yet another blessing of being a mother. What hurts me and women like me, is that these celebrities have "oops" babies for publicity. They don't appear to TRULY cherish and realize their gift of fertility and motherhood. It just tore me down for a few minutes, but I'm moving past it. There is truly nothing I can do, and regardless, I don't like feeling upset or angry towards someone pregnant. No matter who it is, a baby is a beautiful gift.
Another sad moment was when Tim told me today that he had ANOTHER dream of us having a baby. He has 2-3 vivid dreams recently where we have a little girl. It is always heartbreaking for the first couple days afterwards, but it passes. I've had incredibly realistic dreams like this too, but thankfully haven't had any recently. The thing that made me pull over off the side of the road and cry for a few minutes was when Tim texted me and told me that all he remembers about it was that it was a girl (again) and that he remembers calling his family members and sobbing and saying we finally had a baby. It tugged the strings of my already emotional heart and made me break down. I can see both happiness and sadness in this and other "baby dreams" and I'm trying to hold on to the happiness and hope that maybe, just maybe, it's a sign that we will soon be parents. I hope my prayers are being heard... If nothing else, I need some guidance and understanding. It WILL happen for us.
Anyway, just a brief update. I hope everyone is having a nice week... XoXo
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